In the Parenthood

Random strangers

2010-02-13T12:52:00.000-08:00

So admittedly, I was addicted. Addicted to the strong cup of Joe that this small bustling bakery and sandwich shop offered. I was addicted to their soup, tomato bisque, a creamy concoction that I ordered every time I entered the shop and saw its glorious name written on the blackboard of specials. I was addicted to watching the local mother’s club which consisted of a half dozen mommies with strollers that took over the corner where a table of bread dough sat waiting for little fingers to knead it. The mothers would chat amongst themselves looking longingly at the leather sofas across the café where business folk, students and writers sat with their book or laptop looking so purposeful yet relaxed.
I would look longingly at both ends, belonging to neither. The mother’s club ladies to which I would never belong because my children were nearly grown, and the couch crowd that with my demanding job as a reporter, would never be a part of my circle of friends. I rarely took time to read for enjoyment any longer. In fact, I could not remember the last time a good book had been held between my fingers. I also could not remember the last time I held my child against my chest and rocked slowly in a way a mother does without even realizing it.
Once, I found myself watching one member of the mother’s club nuzzle her toddler’s curly head of hair, breathing in his scent and smiling as it warmed her deep in her soul. I remembered back to that feeling with my daughters and felt a pang of longing. I belonged nowhere. Each day, I got my coffee and headed for work, the only thing in my life that gave me purpose other than random moments when my teens remembered I existed and wanted to hang out with me.
I guess I should say I had no marriage left at this point. I will not detail the pain or the reasons but will say that deciding to end it was a decision that took me several years. I met coffee serving Jeff about three years before I finally filed the papers. I was unaware people saw what I was going through when they looked into my eyes. Eyes truly are the windows to the soul I guess. I remained unaware until Jeff, a stranger who served me coffee and made me sandwiches, asked if I was OK. He leaned in toward me one random day and said it. He knew. And his concern and awareness startled and amazed me.
I should say now that Jeff was not part of my future love story and that we never spoke again about how I was doing. I should also say that Jeff died of a heroin overdose two years later, battling his own failed relationship demons. One would never know he used drugs by looking or talking to him. He seemed fine, clear headed and, well, happy. But, Jeff knew hopeless pain when he saw it. And he had the guts to ask me about it.
“Are you Ok?” he asked as he poured the morning blend into a large paper cup, looking over his shoulder quickly to meet my gaze and still keep an eye on the fill level. He turned and leaned in toward the counter between us. “You look…like you’re not.”
“Well, I am working long hours…teens at home…issues…pondering divorce….so many things,” I said, not knowing why I told him all that I did. “I need a break. I need courage.”
“You need to remember what matters. It’s your kids, safety and your happiness,” he said, tuning back to hand me the coffee. “I have a degree in psychology. I have been a social worker and traveled the world. I am here serving you coffee ‘cause I left it all behind to remember what matters….its family, friends…happiness.”
He had put the cup on the counter between us, so I handed him my money before he told me the total. He pushed it back at me. “On me as well as the advice. Promise me….promise me you will do what ever you need to do to find your smile again,” he asked. “Jobs are not worth it….bad relationships are not worth it. What ever you’re hanging onto or afraid of…you will need to be strong enough to leave it behind. You need to break free. So do it.”
“I know your right,” I said, not knowing what else to say. I was blinking hard trying not to cry and totally loose it.
“I am right,” he said and smiled. “You know in your heart what you need to do. Do it.”
About two years later, the Exeter reporter working next to me was assigned to write about a local woman’s son who had died of a heroin overdose. I knew the woman’s name. She was a teacher at my daughter’s former school and I had sold her a ton of Avon many, many years before that. She owned a campground and bought cases of Skin-So-Soft bath oil to sell to campers for bug repellent. I don’t know why, but it works and many people used it for that purpose.
She later offered a fundraiser for me to run at the school, which allowed me to make enough money to open a little booth to sell my products from. I sold enough to get noticed by corporate, win a trip to New York City and later get hired as a employee where I managed and encouraged over 200 sales people in a 13 town district in southern New Hampshire. I spoke to groups of 100 or more offering praise and encouragement as well as sales tactics. I hugged elderly women who otherwise had no human contact that week. I gave out small awards to battered women who were selling for grocery money as they forged out on their own to start a new life. I faced almost every fear I had and did not realize at the time the importance my praise and hugs had in those women’s lives. It took me years after moving on to actually get what I had done.
Without that job, I have no idea if my path would have led to where I am now, if I would have gone on to college and had pride in myself enough to try to become more than I was. I gained so much knowledge about helping those who were so uncertain about themselves. I also learned to speak, publicly and privately. I found my voice and became someone else….and it was good.
I told Chris, the reporter who sat next to me that I knew the man’s mother and asked to see the picture for the story. I gasped as I held it in my hands. It was Jeff. I never had asked his last name.

Guide for moms going Green

2010-02-13T12:39:00.000-08:00

By Barbara Leech
Special to the NH Union Leader

Going green in your home just got a little easier, according to author of the recently released book “Greening Your Family”, Lindsey Carmichael. The wife and mother of one says she first fell into the roll of advocate for green households seven years ago after her then-infant son was diagnosed with asthma.

“I had not thought about the daily household chemicals I was exposing my family to until that diagnosis,” Carmichael said. “The epiphany came to me as I was giving a nebulizer treatment to my son and thinking that I had to be able to do more. I began to take a hard look at what I was bringing into my home by way of cleaners and chemicals.”

Released Dec. 1, Carmichael’s book is a shopper and homemaker’s companion to finding green products for cleaning, personal care for the whole family and organic foods. The book, she says, is the product of a journey of extensive research, which shocked and motivated her into action for the sake of her family’s health.

“I learned that as far as household cleaners, there are no federal laws that mandate detailed labeling of ingredients and many contain potentially harmful chemicals,” Carmichael said. “Those tested for safety are typically done on a 180 pound male, which does not tell you what effect it would have on perhaps a small female child. It seemed ridiculous that this is allowed and that so many people do not realize.”

What Carmichael says shocked her the most was the potentially harmful ingredients in baby and personal care products from well known companies the public trusts.

“It seemed outrageous to me that everything from baby shampoo, to deodorant to makeup posed a threat to my family’s health,” she said. “It explains the significant rise in diseases like cancer, asthma, autism and ADHD, which if you placed the increase on a timeline it could not be explained by simple evolution. Something is going on environmentally.”

One of the major chemical concerns with products such as baby shampoo, according to Carmichael, is the use of phthalates (for fragrance) and parabens (a preservative). She says it is not unusual for these additives to contain carcinogens, neurotoxins and endocrine disrupters. These additives, she says, have been linked to allergies, eczema and disruption of the normal function of the hormones in a developing child. Other additives such as polyethylene glycol (PEG) have been linked to several types of cancer.

Carmichael said that her quest for more information eventually led to her earning a Masters degree in public health from the University of New Hampshire, and the next step in her journey was the idea of writing “Greening Your Family” as a way to help other parents get informed without returning to college to do so.

She gave herself one year for the project with the mission of keeping it simple.

“I wanted this to be something a mom cold take along to the store and reference while shopping,” Carmichael said. “There was nothing out there for moms to quickly reference and make their choices easily.”

“Greening Your Family” is a small paperback book that can be easily skimmed by a reader in the grocery or department store as they shop for safer products. The book is broken into a format of thee areas of chemical concern; food, cleaning products, and personal care products. It contains more than 17 easy to read charts that list safer alternative products to look for as well as a list of foods that are known to carry a high chemical residue, such as apples. Highly chemically treated produce, Carmichael says, are the ones a shopper should avoid and look to organic offerings.

“Organically grown food is more expensive so you can look at the list and buy organic choices of what your family eats the most of,” she says. “In my house it is apples and since they top the list on chemical residue that actually seeps through the skin and into the apple…well its something I choose to pay a bit more and get the organically grown apples.”

The book also provides recipes for brewing your own household cleaners and a list of web-based resources for more information on products and ingredients. Carmichael included information on the legislative landscape where there is limited governmental regulation on what chemicals can be used in baby and personal care products, and on the food we consume.

“I hope this helps inform parents and families to the potential dangers in their shopping cart and allows people to take some control over their families health,” she says. “There are some things we can’t control, but this is something we can educate ourselves about and make safer choices for our family.”

“Greening Your Family” is available directly from Carmichael’s website at www.lindseycarmichael.net, Amazon.com, Barnesandnoble.com, and local book retailers.

New book- a synopsis of The Spirit Filled Child

2009-07-17T17:34:00.000-07:00

The spirit filled child - By Barbara Leech
A book synopsis of sorts…
There comes a time in everyone’s life when they recognize that they have grown. It happens while you are searching. It happens while you are just getting through each day trying not to miss the important stuff. It happens when your heart is breaking. It even happens when are holding your children or your spouse and thanking God for letting you know such love. You grow not in height or stature but in spirit and depth of your compassion for others. Suddenly you are capable of much more. You realize there is more to this journey. You realize there are lessons that hit you like the force of gravity. You begin to see patterns in behavior, yours and the people that come into your life, as well as in emotions and the repeat lessons it all seems to bring about.

One also begins to see that after the darkest time in their lives, a time when doors close and courage is tested, the person who relies on faith rather than fear emerges better off in the end. My next book is a book about faith and the spirit within us that is really just a student of God. Life is a lesson. It is important to remember this in times of struggle, confusion or despair. Most importantly, we should be sharing this knowledge with our children. What better thing to give them than faith?

Imagine if we could plant the seed of such lavish spiritual growth in our children from a young age. They are closer to God and spirit than we as adults can ever hope to be. They stand a chance at being more evolved in spirit if they are encouraged to look at difficult times as just another lesson designed to make them a better, wiser soul.

Over the last several months I realize I was evolving, cocooned in my own little world, but changing never-the less. I have learned how to let go of much that I need not hold onto any longer. There are questions that I will never have the answers to. It took me a long time to realize that the answers do not matter. The past is just something to either strengthen you or cripple you in the present. You choose. The choice has always been yours.

This book is a work in progress. It purpose is to help parents raise a spirit-filled child. One who knows how to rely on faith and look for the lessons along this life journey. It is to teach parents how to guide a child to make choices and yes, I will say it, express gratitude for the good in their lives. Instead of the “why me?” how about the “what can I do about this and what new avenue am I going to head down because this happened?” New avenues, previously hidden from our path, are sometimes where the best things in life are waiting.

Protecting children from EEE and West Nile Virus

2009-06-23T19:43:00.000-07:00

By Barbara Leech
Special to the NH Union Leader

According the New Hampshire Department of Health and Human Services (NHDHHS), Eastern Equine Encephalitis (EEE) and West Nile virus remains a serious threat for 2009 and people should remain diligent in avoiding mosquito bites.

Covering the skin and using some form of bug repellent is what officials recommend. But with all the products on the market, it can be confusing to consumers and questions remain for many about what is safe, what really works and if they can use it on their children.

Pediatrician Dr. Jennifer Jones, of Exeter Pediatric Associates, says that there are basic guidelines she recommends for her young patients and their parents, which are supported by the American Academy of Pediatrics.

Jones says that children under two months should never have bug repellent of any kind used on them. Other methods of prevention should be implemented such as bug netting over the stroller or carrier or simply avoiding being outdoors from sunset to dawn when mosquitoes are most active.

According to Dr. Jones, after two months of age a product containing a low level, 5-7 percent, of the chemical DEET (diethyl-methyl-meta-toluamide) is considered relatively safe to use on children but only following the product’s specific directions.

“These repellents work well for a couple of hours and are FDA and EPA approved, but they are a chemical,” she says. “Parents need to read the directions, never apply it on their child’s hands or around the mouth and always wash the treated areas upon coming inside. If it’s applied to the clothing that clothing should be removed and washed after coming inside as well.”

That being said it, the need to wash it off as soon as possible can raise the level of concern for some parents.

“Some parents don’t want to put a chemical like DEET on their child and for those parents I recommend alternatives such as products with Picaridin, which has been used safely in Europe for many years, or oil of lemon eucalyptus, which are all recommended by the Centers Of Disease Control (CDC) as good alternatives to low level DEET products.”

Jones says that products containing Picaridin and oil of euliciptus last a couple of hours and provide about the same protection as products with 5-7 percent DEET. She also said that studies have proven that higher levels of DEET in products do not have a track record of working better, they just work longer. Products with 25 - 30 percent DEET typically protect for 4-6 hours and products with more than 30 percent DEET have shown no increase in benefits or length of time that they protect.

“Basically I think the parent needs to weigh the risk vs. the benefit,” she said. “The risk of Lyme disease, West Nile and EEE are far greater than the use of DEET or any other bug repellent.”

That risk some parents know all too well. In 2005, Newton resident Richard Labell lost his 20-year-old daughter, Kelly, to EEE, the first death ever from the virus in the state. That year N.H. lead the nation in EEE cases, totaling 7 with two deaths.

Labell, 53, has since made it his mission to educate the public and support community efforts to fight this deadly virus. He started “Kelly’s Fund” which has raised money for education, scholarships to Sanborn Regional High School graduates going into medicine, medical research support at Johns Hopkins Medical Center for encephalitis research and insect repellent wipes to supply to youth and community organizations.

“My wife and I just want to keep Kelly’s memory alive and to help prevent this from happening to someone else,” Labell, a former Newton police chief who now serves as a detective at the Raymond police department said. “We as a family don’t live on edge about mosquitoes and the risk, but we want to keep the awareness fresh…it’s up to people to take it seriously.”

Labell says he takes it very serious, wearing long pants and sleeves if he is outside in the evening. He says he uses bug repellent containing DEET as well and Kelly’s Fund has provided repellent wipes to many youth organizations to keep kids safe during recreation activities. And do those wipes have DEET or Picaridin?

“We found a company, Tender Corp. in Littleton that has both natural repellents and the chemical DEET and we let the organization we are providing for decide,” he said. “Many parents don’t want chemicals on their child, so we go with the alternative and it offers similar benefits.”

EEE is a virus transmitted through the bite of an infected mosquito that has picked up the virus by feeding on an infected bird. Overall, health officials say, the risk to people is low, and in most cases, symptoms are mild and generally begin 2 to 14 days after being bitten.

In severe cases, the first symptoms are high fever, stiff neck, headache and lack of energy. In rare cases, EEE can progress to encephalitis (inflammation of the brain), coma and death, as it did for Kelly Labell.

For the past two years, mosquitoes carrying the virus were detected just across the street from Labell's home. He says he thinks the threat is here to stay and that people need to remember to protect themselves.

“Don’t get complacent. Don’t say it will never happen to me,” Labell said. “Be vigilant and protect your children and yourselves. The chances are rare, but they are there…my family knows this for a fact.”

For more information on EEE or West Nile Virus, call the N.H. Department of Health and Human Services toll-free information line at 866-273-6543 or online at www.dhhs.nh.gov.

Habitat for Humanity finds new ways to keep building

2009-05-11T15:51:00.000-07:00

By Barbara Leech
Special to the New Hampshire Union Leader

Charitable giving can be recession-proof, or so it seems for Southeast New Hampshire Habitat for Humanity. The non-profit organization recently went from traditional fundraising methods of banquets, golf tournaments and raffles to also making requests directly to those who have- asking them to help those who have not.

According to Cheryl Van Allen, executive director for the southeast N.H. chapter, fundraising methods that once focused on ticket sales to gala events, tournaments and raffle baskets had to evolve with the changing economy and the results have been favorable for Habitat.

“In this economy fundraising has been difficult. People are freaked out and with good reason,” she said. “So, we made the leap with the help of a fundraising expert to begin asking for large private donations, basically foundations that have the funds and can truly make a difference to our families in need of a home.”

This recent shift in fundraising brought Habitat a commitment of $30,000 in donations during a recent private event and a $60,000 donation from a private foundation. Habitat is not naming the contributors, because the donations are to remain private. Though this type of fundraising was obviously very successful for Habitat, Van Allen said that the act of actually asking for a sizable donation was very intimidating to their fundraising team.

“Basically we presented our need in a private event and let the story of these families, who basically have nothing, speak for us,” Van Allen said. “But, it was not easy for some of us who might be used to asking for someone to buy tickets or a business to donate items for a raffle basket. This was out of our element, yet so successful that we are surviving in a time when fundraising is a challenge.”

Habitat for Humanity is a Christian ministry that builds quality, affordable homes in partnership with deserving families in the greater Portsmouth, Newington and Strafford County region of New Hampshire.
Founded in 1990, it has built twelve homes around the region, including Dover, Gonic, Northwood, Rochester, Somersworth and Farmington.

Habitat’s goal is to build with, not just for, people in need. According to Van Allen, home owners pay in "sweat equity", helping with the actual home construction. Currently, 250 hours of actual work by the new homeowners on the home is required, 100 of which can be completed by extended family and friends. The houses are sold to the new owner on a no interest loan basis and average a cost of $115,000 to $120,000 plus property taxes. Payments are made back to Habitat and are then recycled to build additional homes for other families in need.

Though traditional fundraising had become more difficult in the last year, according to Van Allen, Habitat has another untraditional means of raising funds which began in October of 2008. The ReStore, located in Dover, sells new and used home construction/remodeling materials and appliances, donated to Habitat, with all proceeds going toward building new homes. Consumers can save 30-80 percent off retail, and shop for just about everything including windows, cabinets, countertops, water heaters and sinks.

Jim Gebhardt, store manager, says that the store has been very successful at raising funds, saving consumers money and keeping tons of items and material out of landfills.

“We have so many items here that are needed in a remodel or home project, and about 25 percent of it is new and donated by retailers who are just changing stock or had a return,” he said. “It is amazing to see this store come together and have such a positive impact for all involved. This is a really good thing.”

Wrapping up Habitat’s newest fundraising efforts is the Deconstruction Team. Made up of volunteers this team goes to sites where remodeling or home demolition is occurring and salvages items or lumber that the homeowner is willing to donate to Habitat. The parts of the house or items are then brought back to the ReStore to be sold. This effort has made donating easier to the average homeowner as well as stocking the restore with everything from old beams to gently used kitchen cabinets.

“You just never know what you will find here week to week,” Gebhardt said. “Stock changes constantly and may take a few visits to get what your looking for, but it is well worth it to save on your costs while helping others.”

------------------------------------------------
ReStore
Open Wednesday - Friday: 10 am - 6:00 pm
Saturday: 9:00 am - 5:00 pm
15 Fourth Street
Dover, NH 03820
Phone: 603-750-3200
Email: ReStore@senhhabitat.org

Cancer...healing mind and body

2009-05-02T07:21:00.000-07:00

PHOTOS: Left: Wendy now, five years cancer free. Right: Enjoying life after chemotherapy.

By Barbara Leech

PORTSMOUTH - What started as a personal blog written by one woman battling breast cancer has turned into a venue of healing and support for all affected by the disease.

BreastCancerStories.org recently launched a new state-of-the-art Website, which allows people affected by breast cancer and their caregivers a way to connect with others going through similar experiences. Much like a traditional blog site, users are able to add chapters and photos to their story page as they or their loved one progress through their treatment cycle. The uniqueness of the site comes from the search capabilities, which include narrowing story searches by age, location, type of treatment and even life style issues (relationship status, parental status, occupation, ethnic background), enabling users to read stories that really relate to their own.

Launched in 2006, the local non-profit organization began as a personal blog for Wendy McCoole, 47, who after learning she had breast cancer in 2004, decided it was easier to keep family and friends updated on her treatment through an online journal she named “Bald Wendy.”

“I am blessed with a large number of friends and this worked so well at keeping everyone informed without repeating the same news over and over. Talking about it can be exhausting,” she said. “My friends would sign the guest book and read my updates, but after a while I began to notice names and comments from people I did not know.”

It was then that Wendy learned that through word of mouth from her friends around the country, “Bald Wendy” was serving as a form of comfort for many others affected by breast cancer.

“There were so many comments that just said ‘thank-you’ that it was a form of healing for me to know that this connection I made…unknowingly…had helped someone,” she said. “It took on a life of its own and I believe it was a calling for me to do something more.”

It was then that McCoole, who lives in Eliot, Maine with her husband Kevin, decided to take it to a more interactive level. With her husband’s support she gave up her corporate career and launched BreastCancerStories.org in the summer of 2006, serving as the organization’s executive director. The Website grew quickly in popularity, according to McCoole, and now has 10,000 people logging in each month. But the limitations of the site stopped people from searching and finding other survivors who had specific similarities to themselves. McCoole decided it was not enough.

“The technology of our new site allows people to search for people who have had the same type of treatment, the same age group, marital status, if they are a single mother, really all aspects of their life,” she said. “Now its not just about diagnosis, its about how it affects your life.”

Caregivers can participate for the first time as well, which McCoole hopes will become a tremendous asset of support for a group often forgotten.

“Everyone focuses on the patient, which makes sense, but there are no support groups for caregivers and they have a story as well,” she said. “This will allow them a network of people going through the same thing and a way to share their story.”

To create this new Website required the latest in extended search capabilities and McCoole left that in the hands of PixelMedia Inc. of Portsmouth. McCoole said the hours put into the Website’s creation surpassed what anyone anticipated, but PixelMedia came through with a easy to navigate design officially launched on March 4.

Erik Dodier , Co-founder, President, and CEO of PixelMedia, Inc. said he was proud to be a part of this project of healing.

“BreastCancerStories.org has been an ongoing effort that we have been familiar with for several years now,” he said. “We are so happy to get involved and help patients and their caregivers find this kind of support.”

As for McCoole, she just celebrated her fifth year of being cancer free, attributing this project with a portion of her overall healing.

“I was not one to wallow or say, ‘poor me’. If someone asked how I was, I would just say, ‘fine’ and then ask how they were.” she said. “But this gave me an outlet to write about all that I was really going through. Sharing my story was a great way to heal and work through all the emotions.”

Vitamin D requirement raised, but how much is enough?

2009-04-16T18:41:00.000-07:00

By Barbara Leech
Special to the NH Union Leader

Winter months are commonly know for bringing exposure to colds and flu, but research is indicating that lack of exposure to sunlight may be a far greater threat to our overall health.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recently increased its recommended Vitamin D requirement for children (birth to 13 years old) from 200 IU (international units) per day to 400 IU per day. The current adult recommendation is at 400 IU but is under examination by researchers as well, with an increase in the recommended intake anticipated by medical professionals. But some doctors and dietitians say that these recommended guidelines are very modest and much greater amounts may be needed to actually meet the body’s needs.

“There was not a whole lot of science to the original guidelines set up by the government…they were basically there to prevent major Vitamin D deficiency issues like rickets (a softening of the bones),” says Dr. Daniel Nadeau, of Core Physicians Diabetes, Endocrine and Nutrition Center in Hampton. “The scientific data we are seeing now is amazing. I would not be surprised if we see additional increases in the recommendations with regard to Vitamin D intake as I personally do not think we have gotten to the optimum levels.”

Dr. Nadeau said he thinks the recommendation for children should be even more at 800 to 1000 IU per day and that current research is showing 4,000 to 5,000 IU per day for adults gets the levels in their body to an optimum for disease prevention and even pain relief.

“There are studies that show that even just increasing adult intake to 1100 IU per day showed a 77 percent decrease in incidents of cancer, lower levels of cardio vascular issues, hypertension, stroke,” he said. “Research shows that an increased Vitamin D intake in children of 2000 IU produced a significant drop in the development of diabetes. The research is still ongoing but it is all very exciting.”

Vitamin D is produced naturally in the skin from ultraviolet light, but with concerns about exposure to direct sunlight due to skin cancer and the decrease in sun exposure in long winter months in areas like the Northeast, people are producing less Vitamin D on their own according to Nutritionist Jacquie Higgins, a registered dietician with Portsmouth Regional Hospital.

“I am seeing an epidemic of Vitamin D deficiencies in my patients and it is not surprising. We live in an area that for six months out of the year our bodies are not able to make and store this Vitamin,” she said. “There are other contingencies too, because the body stores Vitamin D for about six weeks but heavier people and the elderly seem to have a smaller reserve lifespan, so they need more.”

Higgins says that under the current guidelines two classes of milk fortified with Vitamin D appears to over a child’s needs, but she agrees that research is indicating that much greater amounts are actually required for overall health and disease prevention by both children and adults.

“I don’t think the answer lies in the food we take in, though things like salmon, tuna fish, cod liver oil and fortified milk contain good levels of Vitamin D, it is probably not nearly enough,” she said. “You should ask you doctor about testing for the deficiency and look to taking a supplement for any real overall health benefit.”

According to Dr. Nadeau, the worry of overdosing on Vitamin D is miniscule, since research shows someone would have to take in more than 10,000 IU per day to reach toxic levels. He thinks this deficiency has been an ongoing heath problem for many, many years, which is now being discovered thanks to the ongoing research.

“During evolution, we were basically in the sun all the time and now we hardly get sun exposure. If a person is out in the sun for twenty minutes at noontime in the summer months, they can make from 20,000 to 25,000 IU’s of Vitamin D,” Dr. Nadeau said. “With concerns about the link between the sun and skin cancer, we are seeing more people staying out of the sun and as a result, we are seeing more and more people who are Vitamin D deficient.”

Ideally, the body’s serum levels should be 40ng/mg (nanograms per milligram) or higher, according to Dr. Nadeau. You can ask you doctor to perform a “25 hydroxy-Vitamin D” test to check your body’s levels. Supplements, he said an be bought at a health food store or Wal-Mart and can contain as much as 2000 IU for daily intake.

Vitamin D deficiency concerns include infants who have a limited diet and general lack of sun exposure.

“We are seeing that breastfed infants cannot get enough vitamin D in breast milk so pediatricians are recommending all breastfed infants get 400 IU per day through supplements,” says Eileen Behan, registered dietitian-nutritionist for Core Physician in Exeter and author of eight family nutrition books including The Baby Food Bible, “Formula fed babies should get enough in their fortified formula intake.”

Most baby formulas are fortified with Vitamin D and mothers can determine if their little ones are taking in enough each day based on the amount of formula the baby drinks. Dr. Nadeau points out that breastfeeding mothers should pay attention to how much Vitamin D they are taking into their diet and consider a supplement to ensure their baby is getting enough in their diet as well.

For more information on Vitamin D deficiencies visit www.vitamindcouncil.org.

Yummy goodness on a tight budget

2009-04-10T14:28:00.000-07:00

There is nothing like making memories with your kids over a nice lunch or dinner at a restaurant. My older children, Michelle and Courtney, got used to having one night out per week with mom every Thursday at Unos for at least two years prior to my divorce from their father. It was good, slightly expensive, but worth it because they both still talk about the laughs we had and the cheesecake we began to get for free because we were "regulars". I still remember the laughter and Oreo cheesecake...I have no idea what I ordered for dinner. It was a time for us to regrouped, talk about our week and discuss weekend plans.
Today, Michelle has practically moved out, though most of her stuff occupies a room in a sad haunting way. Courtney is off at college and comes home to do laundry and hug her brothers. I realize the cost of a restaurant was definitely worth it to make those memories while I still could.
So...enter Fogarty's in South Berwick, Maine, a small restaurant and bakery famous for their cheesecake. I took my two boys there today for lunch and it was both memorable and affordable.
Adam and I take the boys there on weekends because it is amazing and affordable. Today I wanted to begin something with my two sons that hopefully I can continue.
When we go as a family, we can all eat, essentially 3 meals and drinks (Dylan shares with his brother) for about $31 with tip. The portions are large, enough to take home if you don't stuff yourself, of just right if you are ravenous. The staff is friendly, remembers us and openly loves kids. Which helps if your child is being...well, 2 years old. Plenty of seating for the popular eatery means we have only waited a couple of times and for only a few minutes.
Then there is the food. Not to toot my own horn, but I cook...very well. I like any place I go to for a meal to be at least close to as good as home. Money is tight and I don't want to pay for something that is unsavory.
Fogerty's gets many stars in the department of taste. So for a family, or even just a meal out with one parent...it is a top pick.
Today my boys split a grilled cheese sandwich and I had a salad with chicken. Because they know me by sight now, I got garlic cheesy bread thrown in for free and an hour at a table with my children..laughing and eating and making new memories. Mmmmm life is good.
Fogerty's has been around since 1960 and is located at 471 Main Street in South Berwick, Maine, 207 384-8361.

Foster family adopts: DJ's family grows

2009-04-10T05:13:00.000-07:00

By Barbara Leech

Special to the New Hampshire Union Leader

March 26, 2009 front page center feature

PORTSMOUTH - When Ralphie Marino, otherwise known as WERZ’s quick-witted co-host of the “Ralphie and Suzanne in the Morning” show, began fostering children with his wife LeighAnn, he never dreamed he would eventually be adding a permanent addition to his family.

But, the Portsmouth couple, who already had three children of their own Zachary, 12, Reilly, 15, and Adrienne, 19, knew soon after five-week-old Edie arrived at their door that she was there to stay.

“We just knew she wasn’t going anywhere. She was my little girl,” Ralphie said. “I went from thinking that in ten years my wife and I would throw everything in a camper and travel the country to dreaming of family trips to Disney.”

Ralphie, who turned 42 on March 20, the day Edie officially became Emily (Edie) Rou Marino, said that taking in foster children was not originally his idea, but it has been one of the most rewarding things he has done in his life.

“Our (biological) children have been fantastic and this has been a learning experience for all of us,” he said. “They realize the good in all of this…that they are a part of saving a few little souls.”

LeighAnn admits that she talked her husband into becoming a foster family about five years ago not realizing the impact the children would have on their lives and their hearts.

The couple also plans to adopt 22 month-old “Anthony”, who they have fostered since he was five months old.

“It’s just an amazing journey to this point. I knew after my youngest child turned about eight years old that I wanted to care for more babies, but did not want to go through another pregnancy,” she said. “It has been a challenging and rewarding experience in ways I never imagined.”

What about the costs of more children in this economy? LeighAnn says it is a concern, but a not decision maker.

“It is something we thought through and know that we are able to provide, though planning is going to be very important,” she said. “As long as we can cover the basics, being in a loving family and happiness is the biggest thing we need to provide.”

Recent cutbacks in the state system, she says, provides less support to foster families then it used to. And after adoption most of the support except for medical care coverage will disappear.

Another challenge in providing foster care, according to LeighAnn, is the amount of time you have to prepare for a foster child’s arrival at your door. It was less than a day from the time she got the call from DCYF about Edie until she was in their living room.

Daughter Adrienne said she was a little shocked by the speedy arrival.

“I came home from school, walked in the door and there was a baby in our living room,” she said. “And she was staying…it was wonderful but kind of unreal.”

Children are placed in foster care by the State Division for Children, Youth & Families for short to extended periods of time. Some are placed up for adoption after being in foster care. The children have had troubled homes, been abused, or have parents with addiction issues or who are just ill equipped to provide for the child.

Ralphie said one of the greatest things about being a foster parent is to know you made a difference in a child’s life.

“They bring us smiles and laughter and we give them love and safety,” he said. “Getting things done is more of a challenge now but its all worth it.”

LeighAnn agrees, noting that the greatest challenge is getting out for errands with Edie and Anthony, who are close enough in age to make it similar to handling twins.

“Ralphie handles a lot of errands and shopping right now,” she said. “Navigating stores with the two of them is something I have not tackled yet, but it is all going to get easier as we go.”

The Marino’s, who have fostered 10 children to date, said that as a foster parent you are given a very brief idea of what the child you are taken in has gone through. Basically, you learn as you go.

“It really has to be in your thoughts when you are dealing with the child,” she said. “Maybe just watching your tone, or for some just everyday things like a bath need to be treated with extra kindness. Some of these kids have been through so much.”

As for Edie, known in their house as “daddy’s little cling-on” because the pair are inseparable, the couple knew from her arrival that she was a shaken baby, knowledge they say pulled at their hearts.

“I would just look at her little face while I fed her…and she had me,” Ralphie said. “It just is such an amazing feeling to know that she and Anthony will have a good and happy home to grow up in. They are safe.”

The last time...and Thomas and Friends

2009-04-09T11:11:00.000-07:00

Today it hit me as I was rocking one child that it has been ages since I fed my 2 1/2 year old son in this manner. When did it stop? I was so busy with selling my house in Kingston, moving and my final pregnancy that I don't actually know when it stopped. The last time came and passed without my knowing it was the last....I guess I am grateful for that. Knowing would have crushed me.
But it got me thinking about all the wonderful moments I take for granted, some may be the last time they occur.
Tonight we went to see Thomas the Tank Engine live on stage at the Whittemore Center Arena in Durham. Tickets through TicketMaster were about $25 each. I was as excited as a child to see my two boys experience this event. I know that these times, as stressful as they can be, are also precious and will someday disappear. I will wonder when the last time was that I was able to make their faces light up. I will wonder how my babies grew into men, just as I have wondered how my little girls managed to grow into young women.
The lesson? Savor the moments. Make the effort to be there, mind, body and soul. It all goes by quickly. There is no warning or flashing lights when something is the last time.
As for Thomas, well he was a hit with the my two boys who stood side by side, too excited to sit down, bouncing and clapping and squealing with delight at the sight of their hero on stage. Every now and then one would look up at me or Adam and just look like they were about to burst.
"Do you see it...do you get it Mommy?", they seem to be thinking. Yes baby. I get it.
Next step? I will be making the 40 minute trip from North Berwick to check out a drop in play place for children under 6 years of age in Stratham. Located on Route 33 (72 Portsmouth Ave Suite 116) Sproutabout is open 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. most weekdays and a cost of $7 for one child, $5 for an additional sibling, I can not go wrong.